If you’re in an abusive relationship where your partner is physically hurting you, it’s definitely not normal. In fact, it’s against the law. North Carolina has domestic violence laws to protect victims of abuse. If you’re being hit or hurt in any way by your partner, reach out for help. Most people understand that intimidating your partner through violence is wrong! Let’s look at what kinds of relief North Carolina domestic violence laws offer you and your loved ones.
What is an Abusive Relationship in North Carolina?
Many people think of domestic violence as physical violence, but it can also be verbal or emotional abuse. In North Carolina, any type of abuse is illegal.
Legally defined, domestic violence is when family, ex-family, same or ex-household members, or intimate partners commit acts against each other, including:
- Kidnapping: Taking someone somewhere against their will
- Sexual battery: sexual contact with another by force and against the will of the other person or against someone mentally or physically disabled or helpless
- Stalking: Harassing you for no reason to make you fear for your safety or the safety of your family or associates or causing you to suffer substantial emotional distress by placing you in fear of death, bodily injury, or continued harassment.
- Trespassing: Refusing to leave your property or going onto your property without your permission when you have no trespassing posters up
- Other criminal offenses
- Assault: an intentional action that causes another to feel fear or apprehension about harmful or offensive physical contact happening
- Battery: the actual event of physical abuse against another
Assault and Battery Defined
You may not know this, but assault is not always physical abuse. Assault is “any intentional act that causes another person to fear an attack or imminent physical harm” (1)
Battery is the actual event of physical violence against another. Both battery and assault are illegal and can result in severe penalties for the person committing the acts.
So a verbally abusive boyfriend or girlfriend commits assault if they make you fear intimate partner violence. You may not realize how wrong it is for your boyfriend to want you to feel afraid. A boyfriend who punches the wall and makes it clear he wishes it was your head commits assault. Assault is abuse.
A boyfriend who cleans his gun repeatedly while calling you names and saying you deserve what you get commits an assault, a type of domestic violence. Non-physical abuse is illegal in North Carolina!
If your boyfriend hits you, he is looking for control over you. Hitting is not how healthy relationships work.
If your boyfriend hit you, even if it’s the first time, talk to someone you trust and find a way out. Individuals who wait and finally leave later almost always say that it doesn’t get better! Your relationship only gets worse once your boyfriend hits you.
Abusive relationships are sometimes difficult to see without the help of someone else who has been in your shoes. An abusive relationship does not start with your boyfriend acting mentally or physically abusive the day you meet him. Abusive relationships tend to begin happily like healthy relationships. You may or may not see warning signs of the behavior to come.
Violent or terrifying abuse doesn’t start on day one. It comes on slowly, so you lose your bearings and forget how your partner should treat you.
Abusive Relationships: Is it Normal for my Boyfriend to Hit Me?
North Carolina-specific laws defining domestic abuse include when domestic abusers:
- Attempt to cause bodily injury
- Intentionally cause bodily injury
- Place you or a member of your family or household in fear of imminent serious bodily injury or continued harassment at such a level that you or others feel emotional distress.
- Commit any act defined as forcible rape or sexual battery
The NCCADV defines domestic violence as “the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse.”
When someone calls for police intervention, there is generally a domestic assault, verbal or physical altercation, threats, or family violence. Often alcohol abuse plays a part also.
Stop Physical Abuse with a Domestic Violence Protective Order
In North Carolina, laws exist to protect individuals like you whose boyfriend hitting them makes them wonder what healthy boundaries are. The term “50B” refers to a domestic violence protective order (DVPO) you can receive from a court. You can also get an emergency protective restraining order if you need help right now!
If you live in North Carolina, regardless of citizenship or immigration status, you can file for a DVPO. Once you file for the order and receive the DVPO, your domestic abuser can face immediate arrest if they violate the DVPO orders.
Let’s look at what those orders include next.
The Power of a Legal Protective Restraining Order
A protective order can order the abusive partner to refrain from doing any or all of the following:
- Contacting you directly or indirectly, including through third parties
- Threatening, abusing, or following you
- Harassing you by phone
- Harassing you by visiting your home or workplace or by other means
- Treating a household pet cruelly
- Interfering with you in different ways (2)
As a battered or abused individual facing domestic violence, you may obtain a DVPO issuing life-affirming legal protections for you and your household that may include:
- Giving you possession of the home and excluding the abusive partner
- Awarding you temporary custody and establishing temporary child visitation rights
- Ordering eviction of the abusive partner from residence and assistance for you to return home
- Ordering abusive partner to support minor children (if required by law)
- Giving you possession of the combined personal property, including a pet or a minor child
- Awarding you attorney fees
- Prohibiting the abusive partner from purchasing a firearm for a specified amount of time
- Ordering additional requirements necessary to protect any party or minor child
- Ordering sheriff to deliver protective order to school principals named in the order
- Ordering the abusive partner to attend and complete an abuser treatment program approved by the Domestic Violence Commission
Emergency Protective Orders (Ex Parte Order)
If you’re in an emergency situation and need an order of protection immediately, you may apply for one. The court can then grant relief before they notify your domestic abuser of the request for an order of protection.
An emergency (ex parte) DVPO may require your abusive household member to:
- Leave your home (regardless of who pays rent or mortgage)
- Stay away from their own children
- Give up possession of a motor vehicle
- Surrender their “firearms, ammunition, and gun permits” to the sheriff
If the defendant violates the firearms portion of the order, officers can bring charges for various felonies. If you face immediate danger from a domestic violence abuser, speak with an experienced DVPO attorney to file an ex-parte order and find immediate safety for you and any children.
You Deserve a Healthy Relationship Without Abuse
No one deserves to be abused, no matter what. You have a right to be safe and secure in your own home without fear of violence.
If you or someone you know is facing domestic abuse, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7323) for help. For more information on how to handle your situation, visit the website of the NCCADV.
Consult an experienced family law and domestic violence protection attorney to find out more about the law and get the protective restraining orders you need to keep you and your family safe.
We Can Help
At Cape Fear Law, our experienced DVPO attorneys can help you and any children or family members in your household find safety and remove yourself from an abusive relationship. If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, talk with us about your options. If you need to file for a domestic violence protective order or an Emergency Protective Order, our attorneys can help. Give us a call today or learn more about how a DVPO works.